LIVE BLOGGING: Cowboys-Giants and Opening of Cowboys Stadium

I like to do this from time to time...blogging my thoughts and comments live as they happen during events.  I have done this previously for other Cowboys games  and Michigan games as well as awards ceremonies and the Olympics opening ceremony.  For whatever reason I am in the mood so here it goes...I will try to keep track of the number of camera shots of the big board, because I have the feeling they are going to be astronomical...I may slip in a few Emmy comments as I flip back and forth...

7:51...Listening to the pregame show on the Dallas Cowboys Radio Network.  I forgot about them unveiling the Ring of Honor tonight...that should be cool.  Game about 30 minutes away...
7:57...111,000 a complete filling to capacity of Cowboys Stadium...that is very Michigan Stadium like
8:02...love Keith Olbermann, but not a fan of those glasses he is wearing...they look like granny glasses.
8:05...Pat Summerall and John Madden in the house tonight...can't they call the game instead of Michaels and Collinsworth?
8:08....Emmys have started....love Neil Patrick Harris....and the set looks great....I am DVRing the ceremony, so I may not flip over there very much.
8:12...Unveiled the star...not so memorable on the radio...haha
8:16...Larry Brown thinks the Cowboys will run away with it 28-10...hope he is right
8:19...haha comparing Cowboys Stadium to the other man-made wonders of the world
8:20....I am jazzed up!! (BTW....already a shot of the video board)
8:24....President Bush here for the coin flip...I would definitely be among the boo-ers.  Cowboys win the toss and have elected to receive.
8:26...Really think Sunday Night Football stole Monday Night Football's music intro thingy...even Faith Hill can't win me over...Hank Williams, Jr. FTW
8:27...Jordan Sparks and the national anthem....lets get this thing started!
8:29....Demarcus Ware talking about the 12th man...hopefully this stadium helps
8:32....Al Michaels already pissing me off...that took about two seconds.
8:34....First punt of the night doesn't hit the scoreboard...three and out to start the new stadium.
8:36...Cowboys defense looks absolutely horrible after two plays...yikes
8:41...Defensive stand by the Cowboys in the Red Zone holds the Giants to a FG...after they gash them down the field with the passing game.
8:46....getting a first down would be great.  And Tashard Choice provided the first Cowboys first down in the new stadium. I wonder if they are saving balls like that throughout the night...."first Cowboys first down ball"
8:50....Choice is the first down man!  Barber follows by gashing a huge run deep into Giants territory.
8:51....Bennett effort ones down to a First and Goal situation! And the first Cowboys TD belongs to Marion Barber...Cowboys lead 7-3!!!

The Cowboys tight end combination of Witten and Bennett is going to be huge tonight and the rest of the season.  They are a couple of the best in the league...makes up for a questionable WR core.

8:55...Might break the NFL attendance record tonight.
8:59...Some serious Cowboys pressure coming in the form of Demarcus Ware...Giants go three-and-out.
9:03...Lots of Cowboys Hall of Famers in the house tonight.  A pick six for the Giants...not good at all.  Giants 10 Cowboys 7
9:06...And the Cowboys follow by fumbling the kickoff....got to try to keep the wheels on this thing...sheesh
9:11...Giants end the 1st Quarter with a goal-to-go situation....Cowboys need to find a way to hold them to a FG.
9:14...A couple great plays by the Cowboys hold the Giants to a field goal....Giants 13 Cowboys 7

Offense needs to stop giving away points...that is 10 points off turnovers now for the Giants...tough to overcome.

9:17...We get it...the building is quite large.
9:20...Miles Austin with a big catch and run! Tack on 15 yds for a facemask penalty.
9:21...Nice reverse by Crayton to get ball down to the 2...but he is hurt on the play, hope he is OK! Can't afford to lose any wideouts....as I mentioned...I think we are kinda thin.
9:28...My main man...Jason Witten with the 1 yd TD catch....love him to pieces. (I am wearing his jersey.)  Cowboys 14 Giants 13
9:32....Might have to add a few thousand counting the people in the parking lot watching on the big screens
9:33...Kinda surprised Mario Manningham even caught the ball....big play for the former Michigan Wolverine.  And then the ball subsequent...
9:35...Ware has finally said enough of that Manningham crap...nice tackle for a loss.
9:37...Michaels needs to stop with the "punts hitting the scoreboard" crap...it is not that interesting.
9:39...Time to christen Cowboys Stadium with a Tony Dorsett-like 99 yd. TD run...or I guess 95 yd one with a better than expected spot on the downed punt.
9:42...No long TD run...but it was pretty darn close...a broken tackle away for Choice.
9:44...Crowd rocking on the third down attempt by the Giants...nice three-and-out...Two minutes left for the Cowboys to tack on some points.
9:48...Tony, Emmitt, and Michael sighting on the field.  Big tripping penalty on Flozell...negates a huge pass play.
9:51...First Romo to Williams connection of the night...nice effort to breakaway from a tackler and pick up the first down.
9:53...Oh man...most unlucky interception ever...tough break there.  I can't believe that ball didn't hit the ground.
9:58...Mario Manningham is killing me.  Bobbling TD catch....Giants lead 20-14. That is now 17 points off turnovers for the Giants.
10:01...I really want to throttle Michaels and Collinsworth right now...so annoying.
10:04...Nice little dump off to Barber...gives the Cowboys a chance for a FG.
10:05...Folk add a 46 yard FG...Giants 20 Cowboys 17

Time to honor all the Ring of Honor Cowboys for the re-dedication of said thing.

10:21....Missing Mad Men and the Emmys to watch this game.   The Cowboys better win!
10:24...Not the way we want to start the second half...three big runs for the Giants. And now Newman is hurt...sheesh again.
10:26...gosh this is horrible horrible Cowboys defense.  Time for a red zone defensive stand.
10:29...Almost interception by Bradie James....and a missed FG by the Giants
10:32...Jones starts the Cowboys drive by busting a big one!
10:33...105,121 at the game....largest crowd in the history of the NFL
10:35...Forced to punt...time for some strong defense.  Kinda a sorry play call on third down.
10:38...Another rocking crowd moment...induces a Giants timeout.
10:43...Several stupid penalties by the Cowboys gift the Giants a million yds.
10:44...Terence Newman with a huge tackle on annoying Manningham, forces a Giants punt.

No more nonsense by the Cowboys...its time to score a TD and get this crowd energized.

10:48...WHOO!!! Huge gashing run for Felix Jones!! Followed by a punishing run by Barber...and another run by Barber with some magic behind it.
10:50...First and Goal Dallas!
10:52...QB DRAW FOR THE TD!  Tate Forcier?  HAHA... Cowboys lead 24-20 :-)
10:54...From a commercial for Couples Retreat...."My name is Stanley with a 'C'"...somehow I don't think that works...
10:57...Giants forced to punt.  It would be nice if the first man would make the tackle for the Cowboys...
10:59...A little late...but Collinsworth admits it is not as easy as you think to hit the scoreboard as it might seem.
11:01...Another silly pass from Romo...obviously never saw the safety sitting in the middle of the field.
11:03...Mario Manningham is going on my hit-list after tonight...killing us.
11:07...And Steve Smith just tears our secondary apart for a touchdown....Giants lead 27-24

Our offense needs to get back to running the ball...we are struggling to get open down the field.  Starting to get a bit nervous about this one at this point...

11:20...Defense bends but doesn't break...Giants extend the lead to 30-24...seriously lets score a TD.
11:24...Another great run for the Cowboys...need to keep doing that...
11:26...Romo to Witten for a crucial first down!
11:28...Barber comes up lame on a big run...Jones finishes it off with a TD run!  Cowboys take the lead 31-30

Hopefully we are tuning up the passing defense...the Giants are going to come out slinging I imagine.

11:32...Wow...251 yds on the ground for the Cowboys most since 1994
11:33...Great way to start the drive for the Giants...two penalties
11:36...Huge 3rd down coming up after the Two-minute warning...and likely 4th
11:38...Unable to stop them...got to do better
11:41...Time for redemption...got to stop them here 3rd on 4 at the 40 something
11:43...Again unable to stop them
11:44...Must miss FG attempt for the Giants....fingers-crossed
11:45...Trying to freeze the kicker...just made it in time.

Cowboys lose to the Giants 33-31...there are no words...

Old yet Young yet Somehow Neither...

So a week or two ago, I discussed some of my personal thoughts on socializing and some of the struggles I have been having as I see them.  As I so frequently do, I have been spending some quality time thinking about why I am the way that I am and perhaps find ways to improve myself and achieve a greater amount of personal satisfaction.

As someone who is twenty-four years old, I am by all accounts a young individual who has some amount of freedom to be a bit carefree and just have fun in life.  For others, that means doing reckless things or living it up on the town...whatever.  As I previously discussed those are things that aren't particularly interesting to me.  But just the same, I sometimes feel like I should be a little more willing to just "have fun".

Some of this dichotomy comes from the fact that while I am twenty-four, I am a third-year (!) graduate student.  Someone who has an advanced education even compared to his peers at the same age.  The level of dedication and time commitment to achieving all that I have to this point has put me in a place in my professional life where I feel much older than that twenty-four years of life.  I work long hours and need the requisite sleep this makes my evening hours spent largely unwinding from a long day...not out enjoying life.  It feels as though I am living the life of a much older person some days.

While that is fine.  I am educationally and professionally perhaps a bit beyond my years, but personality-wise (if that makes sense) I have maintained "my child-like wonder".  I am an easily entertained individual.  I find the world fascinating and interesting in it of itself.  I don't require constant stimulation from others or to be involved in typically interesting events. Well, I guess that may be a bit of a generous statement, but really I think of myself as young at heart.  I don't like cussing.  I watch and listen to Disney movies/songs.  Board games, fireworks, family time, following rules, going to bed early...I could go on and on.

It is sometimes difficult to mesh these two aspects of my life.  The very adult professional life on one hand and the much more innocent and naive way I go through life.  The melding of these two makes for awkwardness on both ends of the spectrum.  I am not someone who fits into the mold, so I can communicate on one level but perhaps fail at another level.  There is a difficult middle ground that I think I struggle with balancing.  This perhaps is also related to my on going struggles with socialization and related issues.

Finally, I could probably spend a whole post discussing this final aspect, but that will be left for another place and time.  That final aspect is that of romantic or dating life.  There is little doubt that I am years younger than my actual age in this regard.  I have never been on what I would call a real date, never had a real girlfriend and have never done anything that goes along with any of that.  Really I have no confidence in this arena and I this is an aspect of my life that has become particularly agonizing as I see my peers in long term relationships, getting married, and even having kids.  Its frustating that I feel as though I have a lot to offer, but either can't get out of my own way to make things happen, or at this stage in a twenty something year old life....what I am dishing out is just not what is being sought after.  The confusing thing becomes...how to change whatever impression or vibe that I give off whether it is that I am someone who is too professionally driven or too immature.

I think I will leave it at that for now, but frankly I may have more to discuss in the future on the topic.  To summarize, I find myself trapped amongst the various aspects of life, some of which I feel that are increasingly incompatible as they stand at the moment.  Once I again I find myself trying to bridge gaps in my emotional life...on the ever elusive personal quest for satisfaction in life

Socialization, Awkwardness, Shyness, Alcohol et al....

So it has been a while since I delved into anything personal into this space, which really was part of the impetus for starting this blog several years ago.  The reasons for this are many, but most notably I have been pretty darn busy with the whole graduate school things for the last several years.  And therefore, I haven't had the spare energy to really go into anything too personal (or better put emotional).

Well for whatever today feels kinda right to discuss some aspects of my life, personality, or whatever it would be best called, despite the fact that I am tired and sick (not sick and tired...ha).  I really think the confluence of several events of the past couple of weeks has had me really thinking about where I am in life and kind of things that I feel I am lacking in life or missing out on due to "character flaws" (not really the right word).

Not surprisingly these events have all had a very social component them: chemistry department poster session, departmental picnic, U of M football game, and 1st/2nd/(and 3rd) Outing at Dominick's.  Its not really a secret that I am not much of a party person.  I mean how many quote, unquote "parties" have I been invited to over the years...well...very few.  Now that has bothered me on and off over the years, but because really I don't much care for the typical party it really makes sense not to invite me.  Chances are I wouldn't go.  I admit though at times it would be nice to be wanted to go.  *Returning back to the point of this paragraph*  So anyway, all these events were great opportunities to catch up with people that I haven't talked to in awhile, or actually meet some of the new graduate students that are coming into the program.  More times than not unfortunately, I found myself being that awkward guy standing alone, watching the groups of people have discussions around me.  I'd like to talk a little about this and muse about what exactly accounts for these actions...is it fear?  is it shyness? is it un-relateability? some combination?

As with anything, I don't you can say it is solely caused by one of these things or another, but I would like to say it is largely still a factor of shyness and not fear, though admittedly the line between the two is very narrow.  I think it is also important to point out that where I am today is still I believe a step forward from the point I was at even five years ago.

First to establish a point of reference, here is the Wikapedia definition of shyness:

In humans, shyness (also called diffidence) is a social psychology term used to describe the feeling of apprehension, lack of confidence, or awkwardness experienced when a person is in proximity to, approaching, or being approached by other people, especially in new situations or with unfamiliar people. Shyness may come from personality introversion, genetic traits, or the environment in which a person is raised.

The reason why I am inclined to define myself as "shy" more so than just out right afraid is that really once you dig right down to the core or get to know me...I actually am quite social (in a some what unorthodox manner).  Look at my Facebook page for instance, I really give out all sorts of information about myself...I publish my Skype handle, my cell phone number (to friends), I pipe in my blog, I share items from Google Reader for everyone to see.  Heck, I do this blog don't I?  I can be as social as someone will let me.  Where the shyness comes in is that really this is sometimes a one-way street of sorts, I am basically sending out this beacon "talk to me, talk to me" that almost has to be answered for anything to start.  Really this method is quite ineffective as you can imagine, but those that have answered the call...at least I hope...can say they have someone who is a good friend.

I will close this meandering piece with a little discussion about what I call "relateability" which really ties in with the final topic listed in the title of this post, alcohol.  I many ways I am aged beyond my years, with interests that are quite divergent with many my age.  As mentioned before, I generally have no interest in parties, at least those typically thrown by twenty-somethings.  Seemingly, a cornerstone of every "good" party involves alcohol, which I have zero interest in and will be fully discussed in a bit.  I am a planner and punctual person.  I like to have scoped out what the activity is going to be ahead of time and planned how it is going to go...I am not that spontaneous.  While not a perfect example of this, take for instance U of M football games:  whereas others are content to arrive to the game whenever they feel like it and leave at the drop of a hat, I on the other hand like to take on the full experience of the game; the pregame festivities, warm-ups, etc so consequently I like to get to the park a full hour before the game and always stay through the whole thing no matter how bad we are playing.  This is a distinct contrast to everyone I know unfortunately.

OK to close,  I want to discuss alcohol...and why I don't generally partake.

1.  I don't like the way it takes.  Really this is probably the simplest reason.  I know that it is an acquired taste, and I guess people work their way into liking it.  There are plenty of other drinks that I do like, why do I have drink something that doesn't taste good?

2.  I have no interesting in getting drunk.  Now this has long been a strong second reason for me not drinking alcohol.  Being someone who like control, I don't think losing all my inhibitions is something that I would find too pleasant.  It has long been a point of interest of many...what kind of drunk would Travis be?...frankly I don't plan on finding out.

3.  This last reason is one that I don't think I have spoken about to anyone.  This is one that fits kinda well with my earlier discussion and well things that I must have talked about in the past.  I am afraid I might like it, and with that all the negative ramifications that it can have on person's life might come into play.  I have the tendency to become addicted to various things in my life (TV, sports teams, gummy bears, etc.).  Something like alcohol that could cause so much damage in life is something I don't want to become too attached to.  It certainly helps that it doesn't taste very good.

I am willing to sacrifice personal relationships over these issues.  Frankly, I have a perfectly good time in life with the influence of controlled substances.