Out of the Pensive Vault: Random thoughts on UM, March Madness, Spring Break, Chicago ACS

Every once and I while I like to dip into the archives of my blog and bring back to the front some particularly interesting posts from the past.  This one comes from almost exactly 3 years ago on March 16, 2007. Very interesting my impressions from my department visit to Michigan as well as my complaints about OSU and Butler.
--------------

All right...it only seems like a million things have happened since the last time I updated the blog. I will try to cover all the major points...

U of M
So two weekends ago (March 9-11), I visited the campus and the Chemistry Department in Ann Arbor. (My first time in Michigan...kinda weird since it does border Ohio) Anyway, I absolutely loved my experience there. On Friday, we had an informal reception with the other visiting students, graduate students, and faculty. I got to talk to some of the faculty (Dr. Johnson, Dr. Sanford) and a few graduate students to get a feel for the school.

Shortly thereafter, we split-up into small groups and went to downtown Ann Arbor for dinner. Dr. Montgomery and Dr. McNeil were my group's faculty escorts and we went to a fancy Italian restaurant. They really must of been trying to wine-and-dine-us because it (and all the other restaurants students were taken to) were really rather expensive and fancy. (I mean we ordered wine and had fancy appetizers.) I really felt my lack of big-city culture.

Saturday was a frenetic day of meetings with faculty members in the Chemistry Department. I met with six faculty members that we all very interesting in their own way. My favorites were Dr. McNeil and Dr. Matzger but Dr. Johnson and Dr. Sanford were cool too. Again I had the opportunity to talk to a bunch of graduate students about what they thought about the program and faculty. (soooo much talking, sooo much talking).

Later that night the graduate students took us out to a local eatery (pizza/Italian again)...were we got to talk some more with the graduate students (this time though away from the faculty...so conceivably they could be more honest). They then took students who wanted to out a local brewery (not me of course...by this time I was rather tired...and alcohol is not a motivating factor in my life). That was basically the visit.

Generally speaking, I really loved the faculty and their research. The town was more urban than I had expected so that might take some getting used to if I go there. From the onset of my graduate school search, I was impressed by Michigan and I think it is an almost lock that I will go there.

One last comment on UM...either the faculty are really interested/or care-- I have received 2 emails from faculty that I talked to, and a phone call as well--or UM has a very rigorous recruitment policy.

March Madness
So Wright State made it into NCAA Tournament for the first time since 1993...and if you blinked you missed it. It was kinda sad to watch Wright State get blown out on national television (especially after watching Butler and OSU win earlier in the day), but it was a remarkable accomplishment just to get into the tournament. (In my mind that incredible win over Butler in the Horizon League will be lasting memory of the "tournament")

The Raiders simply got a raw deal on seeding. A #14?...especially after Butler got a #5...really a disappointment. Even with the #14 we arguably got the hardest of the four...a Pitt team that had been ranked as high as number 1 this year. Heck even Miami got a #14 seed and we beat them this year!!!

Anyway...this Saturday I admit that I threw up a little in my mouth...watching not only Butler win another game (WE BEAT THEM TWICE!!!), but OSU's sick comeback (Derek has only played it about a hundred times since Saturday) against Xavier. Really the could have only been worse basketball wise if VCU had beaten Pitt. The whole experience kinda ruined March Madness, especially when coupled with the heart-break of WSU.

Spring Break
So I'm on Spring Break this week...but it really doesn't feel like a break from anything. My mind has yet to have a real rest. I have been to school everyday this week (and yet I can't remember to bring back my library books). We'll see if I actually relax and kick about a little.

National American Chemical Society Meeting--Chicago, Ill.
I have my poster all ready to go and printed up. I leave on Saturday and stay through Thursday morning with the hope I get back for Instrumental Analysis on Thursday evening. (NOTE: I will be missing the first 3 days of the Spring Quarter for this meeting...so I guess it better be good.

The Cove, living with passion, teaching, Butler/OSU...

The Cove

Every year it seems I am playing catch-up with the best movies of the past year right around the time the Oscars occur. Seeing as the last movie I saw was Up In the Air sometime around Christmastime, I have a lot of ground to make up. The Cove caught my attention right after the whole SeaWorld incident where a killer whale killed one of its handlers. I saw many people reference this movie as one that should convince you to support the cessation of all animals-for-entertainment industry. Also I happened to catch the documentary's director on Talk of Nation a few weeks ago. From that segment the story sounded so tragic (I should mention that this is about the illegal killing of dolphins in a particular city in Japan) but at the same time had an element of spying or Ocean's Eleven type planning.

I wouldn't characterize myself as much of an "animal-rights" person. I generally take the naive position that people should be and are treating animals with respect. This movie though really powerfully showed the exploitation of dolphins and a lot of the sociopolitical elements behind Japan's cover-up of the whole situation. There is a scene in the movie that shows the slaughther of the dolphins in "the cove" and how the water just turned crimson afterward. I don't think I can get that image un-seared from my mind. I will say this. After seeing this documentary...I definitely support ending the captivation all animals used solely for entertainment (places like SeaWorld, etc.)

Powerful stuff.


Teaching and living with passion

This sort of period of self-discovery over the past several years has taught me a lot about myself and in all sorts of aspects of life. I have blogged about these issues on many occasion over the past few years. I was reminded though again this week after returning to the classroom for the first time in over a year of something that I think sets me apart from many people. (It nice to be able to say that about yourself..."you've got this going for you")

That thing is passion.

Most everything I choose to do in life. I do with a passion. I dive deep and put everything I have into whatever is at hand. I noticed this about my teaching style. I CARE. I feel this personal obligation to make sure everyone is able to get something out of each time they set foot in the classroom. Chemistry is fun and cool, exciting. I have this need to imbrue my teaching with this sense. I know if a teacher or professor talks with passion about a subject I am more apt to pay attention. The idea being if he/she cares so much about a particular topic...then perhaps I should too.

I perform my research with a passion too. And maybe that is why I so feel the ups and downs that go along with it. (As I write this, I know I have talked about this in some form either here in the blog or to someone in conversation.) Look at the way I approach sports. For all my favorite teams I am all in. I superstitiously wear the jerseys and the hats. I throw things when a play isn't made. I change my profile picture on Facebook or set my status update to reflect my routing interest. I have wrapped sports up into my emotional fiber. (That may be why I even bother to write out the next section of this post about basketball).

And these are just a few that I generally outwardly manifest. I passionately cherish those who touched my life in some way. Even on my meager graduate student stipend, I have felt obligated to give back to the schools that gotten me here today. I have donated to Wright State on several occasions to support the faculty, staff, and students and all that they are trying to accomplish. I will never speak ill of any aspect of Beavercreek schools and alway trumpet the excellent education I received during my 13 years there.

Then are my friends and colleagues...it is sometimes the most difficult to mask how much I care about them. Especially without seeming strange. For many of them I would do almost anything to help them out of jam, or provide a kind ear for them to share their problems. As I have discussed recently in this place though I am rarely confided-in in that. Often times it seems I am bother by others problems more so that my own.

And I think this is a great way to live life. Though you experience lower lows than most, I can't imagine what it is like going through life with a general sense of ambivalence. What is the point?


Butler and OSU are once again the bane of my existence...

So this week basically marked the end of basketball for the year for me, as I watched both the Raiders and Wolverines fulfill their dreams of making it into the NCAA tournament. Ironically (or not) it was their arch rivals that did them both in the two most devastating ways possible (at least for a fan). Butler shot close to a million percent from the field on to crush us for the third time this year. It really seemed as though they played their best basketball against all year long. Doing a little math on the side, I came up with the fact that cumulatively the Bulldogs shot 56% against WSU this year. That is simply an amazingly high percentage. Hard to blame the Raiders defense as it was either first or second in the HL as far as points per game...seems to me we had the bad luck of Butler playing out of their minds. I always new it was going to be a long shot to beat them on their home floor, but to get embarrassed the way we did on national television just adds a painful exclamation point to what has generally been a very disappointing sports year. (Though I should add that this was the fourth straight year for WSU to win 20 games...so things could be a lot worse!)

Here I thought that would be the most shocking loss that would occur this week to a team I care about, but boy was I wrong. Obviously the Michigan loss to Ohio State at the buzzer in basically a tournament elimination game smarts even more. Luckily I was spared the indignity of watching it live (though my brother so kindly texted me shortly after it happened), or else I might have just burst out into tears. In my handful of games I attended live this year I saw similarly ridiculous feats. Wisconsin basically nailed that same shot Evan Turner made right before halftime when they visited earlier this year. I also had the pleasure of seeing the failed attempt at a last second victory against Michigan State where we were on the losing end again.

I hate to be a spiteful fan and wish the same pain I have felt on others, but I will definitely be rooting against Butler and OSU most vociferously during the Tournament.

Oh...and luckily baseball is right around the corner!

Let's talk Olympics...specifically spirit....

Last night was the Closing Ceremonies for the Vancouver Olympic Games 2010, and nowthe Olympics are over for another two years *sad face*.  While watching last night, I couldn't help but think about how powerfully I feel about these events and those that participate in them.  To me, these are the athletic heroes that should be looked up to if you do that sort of thing.  There is something so powerful about watching these individuals or teams strive to achieve their dreams, whether this be to win gold, medal, or do a personal best and all under the auspices of representing their countries.  I think those most genuine of emotions devoid of the all interest in money, endorsements, "playing-time", new contract, etc are what make the Olympic games special.

Watching the obscure figure skater from Turkey who has no shot at medal go out to skate simply for the pride at being at the Olympics, or Joannie Rochette skating to honor her recently passed mother, these are what makes the Olympics great.  The way the Canadian fans reacted with such vigor as their team took hockey gold or their countrymen won ice dancing Olympic gold. This is also to say nothing of the way the games seem to unite the world through the love of sport.

And in light of the way these games make me feel, I find myself becoming truly angry or annoyed by those who say they didn't watch or weren't going to watch or didn't breathe in the Olympic spirit as I did.  This is strange to me.  Why do I feel so strongly that everyone should be watching the Olympics?  Well I guess to answer my own question...I think it is very much tied to what I laid out above.  In my mind the Olympics represent the best of human spirit and nature and of nationalist pride. This is the world's opportunity to unite and live a shared experience that crosses cultures, to put aside differences for a couple weeks.  Someone who doesn't feel that it is important be a part of this shared experience saddens me, leaving me to feel as though they have grown cynical of the human spirit or don't feel a rush being able to see people achieve their dreams before your eyes.

At the least, I gave my parents a hard time about this and in the past two weeks have mentally chided others for similar attitudes towards the games.  Much like it requested in many Christmas songs to "keep the spirit with you all through the year," I feel that a lot of good can be done if we keep the spirit of the Olympic games going all through the year.

What Valentine's Day signifies to me…

Looking through my blog’s archive for the past four or five years or so, I am surprised as I haven’t tackled this particular topic head-on during one of those years.  Certainly those days have echoed the same feelings and sentiments that today holds for me, perhaps not quite as strongly, but definitely they were difficult days.  Today I want to lay out what I think about this special day and how it is one of those benchmark days I look at to assess my life.

Every year there are days in which you stop and take stock of what your life has become, where you are going, what you have achieved, what you seek in the future. For me these days have always been: my birthday (August 21), New Years Day, and Valentines Day.  The first two are somewhat obvious days to reassess as they both represent something of new beginnings and a chance to reflect on your previous year of life or of the calendar. The last is a day I typically use to reflect upon my personal relationships and if I am any closer to filling that hole in my life.

As much as I might prefer to just push this to the back of my mind, it becomes nearly impossible as February 14 approaches. This year it seems more so than in the past that EVERYONE is in a relationship (heck even my brother is!).  To say I am not happy for everyone would be untrue. I am, but I truly feel jealous and somewhat hurt by it all.  I think I have many wonderful qualities that someone is missing out on, so it just makes me sad that either I can’t showcase them properly or I am not worth taking a chance on in everyone’s eyes. As the years have passed, I have begun slowly preparing for (but hoping strongly against) a lifetime alone. In years past I have been much more hopeful about my relationship front, but the year ahead seems particularly grim at the moment.  But that could always change I guess…it only takes a moment.

Until that moment I am filling my broken heart with all the warmth that movies and television can provide. I am a romantic at heart (which no one probably knows), so I gravitate to shows and movies that tell stories of love unrequited.  They seem to resonate with me, as someone who is waiting for his opportunity to seize the day and go for love.

So for this year my date for Valentine’s Day is once again chemistry.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovebirds in the world.  Cherish that feeling.

Finding something synergistic out of Facebook, Twitter, and now Google Buzz…

With the growing prevalence of social networking (at least ones that have some main stream popularity…sorry FriendFeed), I am (and have been) striving to find an efficient way to use them to share content.  Each of them covers a slightly different niche and potentially reaches a different audience (if it reaches one at all :-(…)

Facebook has always been ground zero for me, since some point in 2005 when it first hit the scene. Slowly it has pushed things like IM more to the backburner leaving that mainly for communication with family or close friends. As Facebook has branched out into a large platform adding the ability to share things such as photos and videos and more significantly post status updates, it has become an increasingly convenient  way to share my life with my extended network of friends and see what is up in their lives. In many ways the inherent visibility sometimes limits what I want to throw up there. I don’t necessarily want to constantly flood my feed with every thought feeling or detail of my life, so it doesn’t necessarily fulfill all that I want to offer to the world.

At some point in 2007, I began to use Twitter as a means to supplement this blog, giving me a way to provide more consistent updates on even more inane topics. I am much more willing to throw up darker feeling from my life there and more random thoughts (Rangers!) than I would on Facebook.  Much of this is because I have a much smaller (near zero) group of followers there, so it feels like I am talking into a vacuum, providing a nice sounding board. (mixed metaphor…yikes!)  Twitter provides an interesting way to peer into the lives of people whom I otherwise wouldn’t be able to…athletes, celebrities, journalists, tech-heads, etc. This is endlessly entertaining and it is fun to be a part of their daily lives. It is a bit disappointing that I haven’t been able to cultivate a group of friends to share in the experiences in a more social manner…this shows my lack of skills in the social world.

So defining the niches I have already established for Facebook and Twitter, where does that leave Google Buzz? Well that is the very question I am asking myself…I mean I certainly don’t have to use every social network that comes around, but I like to feel a part of a community…even if it highlights my inadequacies.  After playing around with Google Buzz for a couple days it strikes me as the most significant feature it offers is the ability to look at what people are saying “nearby.” Twitter and Facebook really don’t provide a good location based service and I think this may compete well against services like FourSquare and Gowalla.  I also like the feed integration and the way it connects to my other Google services.  Unfortunately, again it highlights my lack of social standing.  My list of Google contacts/friends is remarkably small, so it suffers a bit in the same way as Twitter in that the real social interaction aspects are currently missing for me.  I can see that changing as adoption increases in the near future, but until then it may become another “sounding-board” for my thoughts…or perhaps a content aggregator of my other sources (i.e. shared items on Google Reader and photos on Flickr).  Finally, it does as quite a bit of beef to my Google profile which is quickly looking like a place I may want to direct the loads and loads of interested parties (ha!) to my information.

I guess as everything is…this will just have to be a work-in-progress and worth another thought

Reality v. Expectations and some random odd and ends...

(cross-posted on Facebook and Travis's Pensive blog)

I think I have set a new record in between blog posts...two months. I guess that shows how much other services have made sharing ideas quicker and easier.  Twitter, Facebook, and Flickr have allowed for short and more significantly quick ways to express myself and as such my blogging has been limited to really big things that take some exposition.  If you have been missing out on my randomness check out my various pages linked above to see stuff about the holidays, football, etc.

So I guess I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up the great demise of Cowboys season on Sunday...well what is there to say?  We got our butts kicked. It really is a puzzling result to me as the game was completely decided by our offensive line's total inability to block the Vikings.  Tony Romo literally had no chance.  For a line that has performed so well all season long, the way they played yesterday came completely out of left-field. Not really understanding the nuances of offensive line play, I find that it perhaps makes it all the more painful because it is harder to point to a specific "this is how/why we lost and this is how we can fix it."  Instead of going into great depth on this matter, myself check out the column written by columnist Jennifer Engel for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram for today.  It pretty much mirrors my thoughts on the game and the Cowboys season.  All-in-all: very positive.  Here is a excerpt from the column I particularly enjoy:

1. Stop blaming QB Tony Romo or do blame him, just expect to get “Are you smoking crack?” stares from everybody.

Repeat after me: Romo did not have a chance.

He barely had a chance to breathe, much less drop back and do his job. I do not know how you judge his game at all, unless grading him on his ability to run for his life. He did OK in his pocket pirouetting, when he was not lying flat on his back thanks to runaway Vikings defenders who took turns blowing past befuddled Cowboy linemen and knocking him into next week.

Romo’s fault? He deserves a medal for only fumbling twice. Having never done so myself, I can only guess it is pretty hard to hold onto the football when you are blindsided on one Mississippi.

This is not to say Romo played well. The interception was particularly poor but he did not have time to better his grade. So to blame him is like blaming the bartender for the drunken paparazzi shots of Lindsay Lohan. Go ahead, just prepare for the stares.

So somewhat logically out of the same premise of the great Cowboys' failure comes a larger issue that I think is worth discussing. I may have discussed this before in passing here on the blog (though a quick look through the archive doesn't give a indication of this fact), but anyway this has been something that has been weighing on my mind of late.  This is the proclivity of my 'expectations' failing to meet up with 'reality' and how this might relate to long-term planning. These two subjects seem to be quite intertwined for me. Now may be this is always the case that planning implies some level of 'expectation' and even the best planning doesn't guarantee that a certain outcome will result.  But I think that really planning is a means to try to increase the odds that such and such will happen if I do this and this.  Recently I have found that I have all these great plans to do activities/socialize/have fun and my 'expectation' is that these are going to be great (!) and I am going to get out of my funk and lead more of the life I would like to see myself leading.  So I make all these plans and prepare, but they get buzz-sawed for any number of reasons before they can be seen to fruition.

One of my favorite movies of late has been 500 Days of Summer.  There is a unique sequence in that movie where they show split-screen of the main character Tom as an event occurs in which one side shows the expectations he had for this event and the other half of the split screen depicts what actually happened. I have embedded a portion of that scene below:

(direct URL: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/dor/objects/14252918/500-days-of-summer/videos/500days_2_071009.html)

Now if you have seen the movie you know what happens at the conclusion of this particular scene.  My life seems to be filled with smaller versions of this scene.  One little gut punch after another. I don't want to go through each sad tale of misfortune, but rather muse on what perhaps is the best way forward.  Setting lower expectations would seem to be the best option or planning a little less far in advance with great hope hanging on something to happen. On the other hand, I feel as though there is something to be said for living life large and expecting or hoping that great things are going to happen. Today is going to be the day! I only have to wait until next week...that is when everything is going to fall into place and my life will be better for it!  I think it is important to live life with passion and excitement and losing the thought that something remarkable is going to happen doesn't seem so appealing.

I guess as many of the questions I raise there is no good answer or solution to magically fix the problem. Adapting and changing, figuring out what works are things I have found takes time, having patience and realizing things have a way of working themselves out is something I need to embrace and try not be downhearted when expectations fail to meet up with a certain reality. Life is a journey that doesn't always happen on the schedule you want it to. You just have have to live to see the day when you have finally arrived at the place you are striving for.

It’s for days like today that I don’t drink…

This seems to be consistently popping up again these days. The clash between my decision not to partake in the consumption of alcohol, especially that which occurs in large quantities.  While it certainly does me no favors in the social arena as I am very aware, I simply don’t feel that it is a very good idea to explore too deeply that aspect of life.  I refuse to let myself drown my many sorrowing in alcohol.  That would serve me poorly, and provide no solutions to the problems, and in all likelihood create additional troubles for my friends and family.  I really have so specific reason for which to base my convictions on as I have never been surrounded by people who are loaded all the time or who even consume alcohol on a regular basis, but attitudes toward this are founded in being a responsible person and never do I want to have the excuse of alcohol for hurting anyone, especially my friends and family. Get high on life…that is how I live.

So I guess what brings this up again is point is another crushing, U of M loss today against Ohio State. It has been a tough year to be a Michigan fan.  As much as it was last year when we were going through our worst year in program history.  Seemingly I am doomed this days to be tugged around by my heart-strings by all my favorite sports teams.  The Cowboys are particularly the largest such offenders as expectations and results sometimes are in striking contrast. But back to the game today, I was quite the display of self-afflicted injuries.  I don’t really want to pile on Tate Forcier, but being responsible solely for 5 turnovers is simply too much for any team to overcome.  A couple better decisions in these situations, and we have a shot to win at the end of the game. Instead we get serenaded with the cacophony  of O-H-I-O cheers by the multitude of OSU fans in attendance.  We were unable to run the ball throughout, but were able to make some plays downfield when we weren’t making huge mistakes. Our defense played well above expectations and gave us every opportunity to win the game.  We unfortunately unable to hold the Buckeyes to a FG attempt there in the 4th quarter as they simply called the perfect play for a charged up defense ready to take down the quarterback.  No hard feelings there.  I have to have witnessed more U of M losses in person than anyone in many decades at Michigan after today’s loss I have now witnessed 11 of them in every conceivable fashion. 

Next year will be a different year (maybe or hopefully with a different coach), and hopefully we can get back to the mantra “Those that stay will be champions.”  Until then I have basketball season to enjoy, Michigan is fielding another strong team led by Manny Harris and DeShawn Sims.  We should be competing down to the last day for the Big Ten championship and I will be watching both on TV and in person down the stretch.  I am perhaps more excited about the prospects of Wright State this year.  In the few games that have been played already, we seem to have a strong team this year that too should be able to complete for a conference championship.  Butler better watch out…there are Raiders on the prowl.